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by Mr Fifty
Thu Nov 20, 2008 3:48 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Cemetary
Replies: 2
Views: 20329

I was walking through my local cemetary the other day when i saw four men carrying a cofin round and round.
An hour later when i came back through they were still walking round and round.
I thought to myself they have lost plot, they have.
by Mr Fifty
Mon Oct 13, 2008 2:42 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Iceland
Replies: 1
Views: 19170

I sympathise with everyone who has lost money in Iceland.
I once dropped a pound coin between two freezers and i never got it back :(
by Mr Fifty
Fri May 02, 2008 1:35 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Gay Bar
Replies: 0
Views: 18591

My landlord told me the other day that he was thinking of opening a gay themed bar in town.
I asked him if there was much demand for that sort of thing round here?
He said "I dont know, Ill just have to suck it and see"
by Mr Fifty
Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:12 pm
Forum: Rants and Raves
Topic: Transporting slalom boats - Inside an estate ?
Replies: 7
Views: 4030

I used to go to slaloms back in the early 90s with the old style Toyota Hiace LWB van my 4 meter boat fitted in a treat you just had to fold down the middle seat and it would tuck up under the dash a treat so it wouldnt go through the windscreen if you braked hard. Mind you getting 1st gear was a b...
by Mr Fifty
Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:01 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Madness
Replies: 0
Views: 18505

My Boss asked me the other day what were the first signs of madness? I said probably Suggs, walking up your garden path.
by Mr Fifty
Sat Apr 19, 2008 10:04 am
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Rampant Toad
Replies: 0
Views: 18751

Yesterday a chap came up to me in the Rampant Toad and said. Are you that Gay Dude? I hear you like a good time?
Firstly, I replied its pronounced Guy and Secondly yes, i do enjoy a good chat about County Cricket statistics over a small Stout after work.
by Mr Fifty
Wed Apr 16, 2008 3:37 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Garden Centre
Replies: 1
Views: 19370

Sunday morning found me strolling round my local garden centre. i decided to buy a bag of bulbs to brighten up my window boxes, on my way out the cashier said "Would i like some Peat. I exploded with rage!! HOW VERY DARE YOU!! I dont want any Pete, John or Harry for that matter thank you very much....
by Mr Fifty
Wed Apr 16, 2008 3:16 pm
Forum: Rants and Raves
Topic: Discretion??
Replies: 32
Views: 17130

Does anyone remember back in the Eighties when some of the F1 cars were so light during the race they used to come into the pits near the end of the race to fill up with ballast so they wouldnt be under weight during scrutineering. My answer is bung the man on the scales a tenner so he looks the ot...
by Mr Fifty
Tue Jun 12, 2007 12:00 am
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Tee Shirts
Replies: 0
Views: 18580

I think i have missed a sales pitch here?
The other day i was selling one of my wristbands to one of those so called elite paddlers, i noticed he was wearing a tee shirt which read,
Judges,"I have upped my standards"
"Now up Yours"
by Mr Fifty
Thu May 03, 2007 4:20 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Wristbands
Replies: 10
Views: 30822

That Guy you refer to whos in the House of Lords.
Is he a Merchant Banker?
by Mr Fifty
Fri Apr 20, 2007 4:03 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Wristbands
Replies: 10
Views: 30822

mmm interesting. Intercourse with an angler eh. I have been tempted in the past to "Insert my paddle" into some of the more friendly anglers i have encountered on my travels and say to them in the style of Ken Dodd "Hows that for a Carbon Shaft" especially after being, Verbally abused, spat at, or ...
by Mr Fifty
Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:04 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Wristbands
Replies: 10
Views: 30822

Nice One. I shall knock a load up and see how well they go down at my local angling clubs dinner dance.
What odds will i get on getting out of there without getting a good kicking.
by Mr Fifty
Tue Apr 17, 2007 3:15 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Wristbands
Replies: 10
Views: 30822

I have done a bit of market research into my new product and found out that Glastonbury is no longer attended by Brown Trousered Brown rice eating Gaurdian readers. Now its your Forty something Daily Mail, Daily Torygraph readers and members of the Hang em Flog em Send em back Brigade. I worry my p...
by Mr Fifty
Mon Apr 16, 2007 3:25 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Wristbands
Replies: 10
Views: 30822

I have noticed that some of the younger paddlers are sporting some of those plastic wristbands, you know the ones that are worn by Bono et all that say things like: Be Nice to Mr Foxy Woxey: Hug a Tree: George Bush is a Nasty Man: and Poverty isnt very nice: Well ive come up with my own range, Go H...
by Mr Fifty
Thu Feb 22, 2007 2:43 pm
Forum: Rants and Raves
Topic: Prize money! - An Idea
Replies: 8
Views: 5990

True.

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