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Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 10:10 am
by Mr Fifty
I cant think of another use for Multipurpose compost other than growing plants in it.
Posted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 4:24 pm
by kendall chew
I find it makes a handy filler for breakfast cereal. Or you could try adding raisins and a silver sixpence at Christmas, this has always been a real winner in our household. Covering oneself in Treacle then rolling in compost makes good camouflage in the Autumn when hunting Bears. When mixed with Lime and Paraquat it makes a wonderful exfoliant but, do make sure that you keep this and the Christmas cake mix in different coloured jars. Also the unusual aroma that exudes from this particular combination has a tendancy to create a hightened state of arousal in male Bears- somewhat difficult if you find yourself cornered in a cave with one. In this situation I have found it beneficial to carry a small can of yellow paint which, when daubed over the compost in an irregular manner provides the impression of a small swarm of hornets thus distracting the bear just long enough to allow exit from the enclosure. A folding micro scooter at this stage has in the past proven to be useful. I must point out at this stage that these tactics only work about 50% of the time
Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 12:55 pm
by Fup Duck
Once when I was even fatter than I am now I constructed a homemade sauna. I say sauna it actually involved me smearing myself in runny honey and then rolling myself in compost and then wrapping myself entirely in cling film (ensuring I stuck two drinking straws up my nostrils to enable breathing) and sitting in the greenhouse.
The compost certain provided the warmth to induce sweating but I had neglected to seal the greenhouse door with ducktape and the ants became a bit of an irrititant.
Unfortunately I forgot I'd arranged for the vicar to pop round my garden and collect some plants for the church fete.
That was a bit awkward, especially when he got aroused
Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 1:52 pm
by Canadian Paddler
but I had neglected to seal the greenhouse door with ducktape
Fup Duck tape I assume?
Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 6:31 pm
by Fup Duck
genius, I think you have stumbled on a niche in the market
Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 8:17 pm
by kendall chew
I understand that The " Golden Arches" are using multipurpose compost and onion in the latest Veggiburger. Is this true?