Search found 41 matches

by Mr Fifty
Mon Oct 11, 2010 10:10 am
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Multi Purpose
Replies: 5
Views: 16659

I cant think of another use for Multipurpose compost other than growing plants in it.
by Mr Fifty
Mon Aug 23, 2010 2:57 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: The High Street
Replies: 0
Views: 12611

There was a masive que out side Mcdonalds the other day from the managers office all the way up the High Street.
Then i realised it was A Level results day.
by Mr Fifty
Mon Aug 23, 2010 2:53 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: A Level Results
Replies: 0
Views: 12197

I love A Level results day. Hundreds of drunken girls wandering around the town centre who have all ready had there self esteem destroyed.
by Mr Fifty
Mon Jul 05, 2010 12:52 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Dolls
Replies: 0
Views: 12130

I hate those Russian dolls there so full of themselves.
by Mr Fifty
Wed Apr 07, 2010 10:02 am
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Back From the Dead
Replies: 0
Views: 12465

When Jesus came back from the dead people rejoiced and worshiped him.
When that geezer came back from his canoeing trip, people though he was a complete rotter.
by Mr Fifty
Fri Mar 19, 2010 2:56 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: My Girlfriend
Replies: 0
Views: 12375

Ive got myself a new girlfriend, well when i say girlfriend its a Czech girl who has moved into the flat beneath me.
Its taken her five days to vacum the place.
Turns out shes a Slovak.
by Mr Fifty
Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:43 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Speed Dating
Replies: 0
Views: 12995

The other day i went to a speed dating event at my local pub. A girl called Nicola sat at my table and told me i was a sad ugly loser, who stank of cat #### and would probably die alone in a squalid bedsit, in a masturbation related accident. Tch some people! Then i thought to myself, Shes probably...
by Mr Fifty
Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:34 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: This Country
Replies: 0
Views: 12283

The other day i got invited to a party.
When i got there everyone was putting their car keys in a bowl.
I announced that i had come on the bus and was then shown the door.
Tch This Country.
by Mr Fifty
Tue May 26, 2009 3:06 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Dont Know
Replies: 0
Views: 12250

They say that what you dont know cant hurt you.
Well the other day i didnt know that a wasp had crawled into my shoe and that hurt quite a lot.
These so called experts get it wrong again.
by Mr Fifty
Tue May 26, 2009 3:02 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Sat Nav
Replies: 0
Views: 12207

The other day i bought a Sat Nav, made in Taiwan, from a car boot sale.
I nearly crashed the car on the way home when it told me to turn reft at the rights.
by Mr Fifty
Thu Apr 02, 2009 4:17 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Toilet
Replies: 3
Views: 15102

The other day i accidently dropped a five pence coin in the toilet bowl.
I thought to myself theres no way im putting my hand in there for that.
So i dropped a pound coin in as well.
by Mr Fifty
Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:09 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Crap Joke
Replies: 0
Views: 12334

Knock, Knock.
Whos there?
Doorbell Repair Man.
by Mr Fifty
Sat Jan 10, 2009 9:37 am
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Piano
Replies: 1
Views: 12858

I once had a friend who was crushed to death by a piano.
His funeral was very low key.
by Mr Fifty
Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:55 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Marbles
Replies: 0
Views: 12342

I think im losing my marbles, i spent all morning talking to my cat and then i realised i hadnt got one!
by Mr Fifty
Fri Nov 21, 2008 3:42 pm
Forum: Muppet Show
Topic: Cemetary
Replies: 2
Views: 13582

Its not the cough that carries you off.
Its the coffin they carry you off in.