Pomotion

James Prowse · Post by **James Prowse** » Sun Oct 03, 2010 2:45 pm

Hi All

I was recently promoted to div 2 and am wondering, due to the fact that I can't make it to the either of the two remaining races this season, will I get demoted at the begining of the season due to the fact I won't have competed in my new division by end of season ranking.

Thanks

General Flangecustard · Post by **General Flangecustard** » Sun Oct 03, 2010 6:09 pm

If you get promoted at any point during the season you are given short season status. This means you will not get demoted at the end of the season even if you have not competed.

Fup Duck · Post by **Fup Duck** » Sun Oct 03, 2010 7:36 pm

Is there any chance you have been paddling with a trained beaver on your boat?

General Flangecustard · Post by **General Flangecustard** » Sun Oct 03, 2010 10:39 pm

James Prowse · Post by **James Prowse** » Sun Oct 03, 2010 11:09 pm

There is just a chance that I might have been :;):

Fup Duck · Post by **Fup Duck** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 11:15 am

The beaver reference was for James. I recall having a conversation last year about training a beaver to balance on the deck of your boat, who could then nibble bits off the poles as you went round on your practice runs - hopefully making your official run easier.
I don't think I'd been drinking at the time but I can't speak for James.
Thinking about it now you'd have to have some method of rendering the furry pole-nibbler invisible. I don't know if coating him in some invisible ink solution might work!
Alternatively you could fashion him a little coat and hat constructed from the same material they used to make James Bond an invisible car.
I'll see if I can get in touch with MI6 to enquire http://www.sis.gov.uk/output/sis-home-welcome.html

Or camouflage him the same colour as your boat
Or make a little hatch for him operated by a foot switch then he could just pop out do his work and retreat

Imagine how ridiculous a judge would send if the said they saw a beaver pop out of your boat - that's the brilliance of it! They'd probably just keep quiet.

If anyone else has any suggestions practiced or otherwise for making North American mammals disappear I'd be glad to hear them. Not that historically the Americans haven't done a bloody good job on their own. Take the bison for example but they wouldn't fit on a boat anyway.

Better keep this quiet in case the animal rights lot get hold of it

The walls are very soft here

kendall chew · Post by **kendall chew** » Mon Oct 04, 2010 7:17 pm

Well you are a funny chap. Whenever I travel by boat I always find a Bison in my cabin. Next time you take a boat trip look for the bison. It is usually found next to the bottled water and hand towels.

Quite extraodinary, Chap must travel third class with the hoy poloy I suppose.

Fup Duck · Post by **Fup Duck** » Tue Oct 05, 2010 2:29 pm

Chuckle, chuckle

The old ones are the best - the joke not you or maybe both?

see ya at the weekend

katonas · Post by **katonas** » Tue Oct 05, 2010 2:29 pm

I couple of 'claw' holds on the hull would allow the beaver to use its tail for added speed, with no-one supecting a thing...

I wonder if some of the prem paddlers are using this ploy already...

Seedy Paddler · Post by **Seedy Paddler** » Tue Oct 05, 2010 6:12 pm

But surely it wouldn't be worth the risk as a visible beaver would surely be in breach of indecency laws and hence a police matter :p

General Flangecustard · Post by **General Flangecustard** » Tue Oct 05, 2010 8:55 pm

I do not think there is anything in the rule book banning a visible beaver. It might distract the judges as you go down the course therefore negating the need for it to chew on the poles! :p

Fup Duck · Post by **Fup Duck** » Wed Oct 06, 2010 11:12 am

It was only a matter of time before we made the leap from the buck-toothed mammal. Still, stepping back a level, I like the idea of the claw hold. I need to deviate slightly and throw termites into the equation, I'm not sure of their water resistant properties but they would surely be less visible. If a visible beaver would be a distraction God only knows if you'd get away with a termite's mound.

I think also that if you've trained your beaver to chew on the Poles it might be some form of discrimination; didn't they suffer enough in the war.

I'm warming to the thought of a beaver army being sent to attack Australia - we'd have to shave them first as it's mighty hot out there. Be careful now

General Flangecustard · Post by **General Flangecustard** » Wed Oct 06, 2010 9:36 pm

Don't mention the war!

Fup Duck · Post by **Fup Duck** » Thu Oct 07, 2010 11:53 am

You started it, you invaded Poland.......oh no wait, I'm confusing you with someone else. It was the title of General that confused. I was putting hard emphasis on the G in the Germanic way.

Woodpecker?

General Flangecustard · Post by **General Flangecustard** » Thu Oct 07, 2010 8:06 pm

I had not considered the woodpecker, again there may be some decency issues with having a visible woodpecker! What about .303 woodworms though? :p