Pomotion

oldschool · Post by **oldschool** » Fri Oct 08, 2010 12:03 am

Perhaps this should be in the muppet show!! Beavers! honestly!

James Prowse · Post by **James Prowse** » Sat Oct 09, 2010 9:39 pm

Well I started it all of with a perfectly serious question!!

General Flangecustard · Post by **General Flangecustard** » Sun Oct 10, 2010 9:42 pm

I hope our comments have answered your question as well as giving you some insight into the diseased minds of some of your fellow paddlers.

katonas · Post by **katonas** » Mon Oct 11, 2010 12:37 am

Is there any rule stating that you can't have a rotating paddle wheel attached to the stern, driven by pedal power? You'd need a pulley system a bit like an overstern K1 rudder.

Fup Duck · Post by **Fup Duck** » Mon Oct 11, 2010 11:10 am

I'm thinking a tube decreasing in bore leading from a hole under/in the seat out through the stern. This would increase the pressure of any fluid or gas passing through the bore. Obviously the other end would have to be inserted in to a source to make best use of natural material available.
Performance could be enhanced by having a curry the night before.
All the discussion over divisions could be alleviated but just renaming Div numbers by names of curry potency i.e. Madras Division.
This would push people to go faster as who would want to be following in the wake of other paddlers curry effluent.

Obviously this is my subject as I'm full of effluent.

Don't tell the EA but I doubt it would be worse than some of the effluent that's already in the waterways.

I've gotta go now or the General will accuse me of having nothing better to do

General Flangecustard · Post by **General Flangecustard** » Mon Oct 11, 2010 6:14 pm

Now you are trying to imply you do have something better to do and we all know this is not the case. :rock:

Fup Duck · Post by **Fup Duck** » Mon Oct 11, 2010 8:24 pm

I'm gonna take the Fifth Amendment here

Canadian Paddler · Post by **Canadian Paddler** » Mon Oct 11, 2010 8:38 pm

Sorry chaps, but rule 7.1.6 says 'Kayaks are decked boats which must be propelled by double bladed paddles....Candian canoes are decked botas which must be propelled by single bladed paddles...'
So no jet propulsion or paddle wheels, or beavers offering help in moving the boat.

General Flangecustard · Post by **General Flangecustard** » Mon Oct 11, 2010 8:52 pm

I think most of the idea about beavers/woodpeckers/woodworm/termites was not about propelling the boat, but removing sections of pole so ones boat would have easier passage. Is there anythiong about htis in the rulebook?

Canadian Paddler · Post by **Canadian Paddler** » Mon Oct 11, 2010 9:20 pm

page 1

couple of 'claw' holds on the hull would allow the beaver to use its tail for added speed, with no-one supecting a thing...
I wonder if some of the prem paddlers are using this ploy already...

SO someone was trying to user beaver tails for propulsion. But then I remmber the beaver tailed boat produced by Ian Freestone (I even owned one) perhaps I was missing something is that why he was faster than me?

But then how many are old enough to remember these or him?

Enough of the sensible stuff - oh no it was a kayakm so by definition NOT sensible

Nothing in the rules about wearing away the poles, but the organisers might not be impressed

Fup Duck · Post by **Fup Duck** » Mon Oct 11, 2010 11:27 pm

I'm pretty sure if you starched two beavers and stuck a broom handle in each ones mouth and bound their heads round it with duck tape it their tails might act as a sufficient paddle. Apparently this operation is quite a skill though so if anyone out there knows a beaver bonce broom binder fess up.

Canadian Paddler · Post by **Canadian Paddler** » Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:30 am

Surely all you need is a member of the RSPB (Royal Society for the Paddlification of Beavers)

Fup Duck · Post by **Fup Duck** » Tue Oct 12, 2010 2:15 pm

You are a genius!

Now that is an acronym worth dropping into a conversation. I hereby swear to use it at slaloms next year whenever the opportunity arises.

Seedy Paddler · Post by **Seedy Paddler** » Tue Oct 12, 2010 2:18 pm

Surely we should be looking to get the same kayak paddles as Chuck in Dead Rising 2:
http://deadrising-2.com/gb

Or at least lend a pair to the early starters then follow on down....
???

boatmum · Post by **boatmum** » Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:31 pm

I hope we can be assured that no animals were in any way harmed during the production of this thread

or paddlers for that matter :p