Multi Purpose

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Mr Fifty
Posts: 41
Joined: Wed May 26, 2004 8:02 am

Post by Mr Fifty » Mon Oct 11, 2010 10:10 am

I cant think of another use for Multipurpose compost other than growing plants in it.

kendall chew
Posts: 101
Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2010 11:21 pm
Location: Cheshire

Post by kendall chew » Sat Oct 16, 2010 4:24 pm

I find it makes a handy filler for breakfast cereal. Or you could try adding raisins and a silver sixpence at Christmas, this has always been a real winner in our household. Covering oneself in Treacle then rolling in compost makes good camouflage in the Autumn when hunting Bears. When mixed with Lime and Paraquat it makes a wonderful exfoliant but, do make sure that you keep this and the Christmas cake mix in different coloured jars. Also the unusual aroma that exudes from this particular combination has a tendancy to create a hightened state of arousal in male Bears- somewhat difficult if you find yourself cornered in a cave with one. In this situation I have found it beneficial to carry a small can of yellow paint which, when daubed over the compost in an irregular manner provides the impression of a small swarm of hornets thus distracting the bear just long enough to allow exit from the enclosure. A folding micro scooter at this stage has in the past proven to be useful. I must point out at this stage that these tactics only work about 50% of the time

Fup Duck
Posts: 235
Joined: Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:56 pm
Location: UK

Post by Fup Duck » Mon Oct 18, 2010 12:55 pm

Once when I was even fatter than I am now I constructed a homemade sauna. I say sauna it actually involved me smearing myself in runny honey and then rolling myself in compost and then wrapping myself entirely in cling film (ensuring I stuck two drinking straws up my nostrils to enable breathing) and sitting in the greenhouse.
The compost certain provided the warmth to induce sweating but I had neglected to seal the greenhouse door with ducktape and the ants became a bit of an irrititant.

Unfortunately I forgot I'd arranged for the vicar to pop round my garden and collect some plants for the church fete.
That was a bit awkward, especially when he got aroused

Canadian Paddler
Posts: 1480
Joined: Tue May 25, 2004 8:31 am
Location: Peterborough
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Post by Canadian Paddler » Mon Oct 18, 2010 1:52 pm

but I had neglected to seal the greenhouse door with ducktape
Fup Duck tape I assume?
All spelling errors are intentional and are there to show new and improved ways of spelling old words. Grammatical errors are due to too many English classes/teachers.
Old. Fat. Slow. Bad tempered. And those are my good points

Fup Duck
Posts: 235
Joined: Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:56 pm
Location: UK

Post by Fup Duck » Mon Oct 18, 2010 6:31 pm

genius, I think you have stumbled on a niche in the market

kendall chew
Posts: 101
Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2010 11:21 pm
Location: Cheshire

Post by kendall chew » Mon Oct 18, 2010 8:17 pm

I understand that The " Golden Arches" are using multipurpose compost and onion in the latest Veggiburger. Is this true?

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