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Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2010 9:00 pm
by Fup Duck
Seems like the ideal time for a reworking of the birth of Christ.
I have some ideas but they can't be published here due to the blasphemy laws - oh well.
Anyone wanna chance their arm? The more surreal the better I say.
or we could start a collective book and see where it goes. You know the sort of thing someone provides a line and others add in.
Let's get a great opening line and see where it goes!
Thinking time................
HMMMMMMMM Basil
Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 11:58 am
by jsrevell
It was a dark and stormy night.
Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:33 pm
by Fup Duck
Oh we are off - I was going to suggest people offering forth the purpose of cats on the planet but this'll do
Classic opening!
and as the General trudged relentlessly through the rain and mud, little did he know that he was being watched by a horde of buck-toothed mammalian eyes
Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 9:30 pm
by General Flangecustard
Hang on, is this going to be my life story?
Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 9:31 am
by Canadian Paddler
I will get lost of we do not keep the story together (perhaps that would be a good thing when you consider how warped mots of you are. Good job I am sane. :p
It was a dark and stormy night and as the General trudged relentlessly through the rain and mud, little did he know that he was being watched by a horde of buck-toothed mammalian eyes.
Ignoring the judges he wondered had he missed the start time for his C1 run?
Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 9:46 am
by Seedy Paddler
However the warmth permeating from the carry-out Duck and Plum sauce nestling under his left arm continued to distract him from any desire to commence race preparations.
Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 12:49 pm
by Canadian Paddler
Come on Seedy, do not use words you do not understand 'Race preparations' - that is a carry out isnt it? 
It was a dark and stormy night and as the General trudged relentlessly through the rain and mud, little did he know that he was being watched by a horde of buck-toothed mammalian eyes. Ignoring the judges he wondered had he missed the start time for his C1 run? However the warmth permeating from the carry-out Duck and Plum sauce nestling under his left arm continued to distract him from any desire to commence race preparations.
Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 7:55 pm
by Fup Duck
A hundred yards away, as if as one, thirty one ducks raised their bills skyward and appeared to sniff through their duck nostrils (Do they have them?) simultaneously. It looked almost planned but surely that couldn't be. The General though didn't have time to dwell as sixty one eyes (as we all know Dwayne Duck lost an eye in the famous inaugaral Frog-Off of 2009 when he caught a exploding amphibian full in the face) turned to face him with the evil fowl stare that can only be associated with Anas platyrhynchos. A shiver of fear ran through him as he realised they had detected the scent of the duck beneath his arm, if only he had asked for a tad more cinnamon, -
4 kg plums, unpeeled, pitted, sliced
240 ml water
200 g sugar
1 tsp cinnamon, ground
Method
Combine plums and water in a large pot or pan. Bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring often. Reduce heat, cover, and bring to a simmer. Cook for about 30 minutes or until plums are soft, stirring often.
Process cooked plums in a blender until smooth (work in batches). Return to pan and add the sugar and cinnamon and bring to a boil.
Fill sterilized jars with sauce, leaving a bit of headspace. Top with lids.
Place jars, slightly apart, in a boiling water. Bring water to a simmer and cook for 15 minutes.
Take jars out of the water and set aside to cool. Store in the refrigerator and use within one month.
- it might have prevented detection.
He began to run...............................
(Sorry I got carried away)
Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:20 pm
by Fup Duck
The end?
Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 10:00 pm
by Canadian Paddler
Still trying to get the plums together to make the sauce.
Do you think that bananas would do instead?
And 'er indoors does not seem happy with me using her cinnamon - needs it for the muffins for [ADVERT]Peterborough Winter Slalom 12th December [\ADVERT], so will mustard powder pass?
Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 2:00 pm
by Fup Duck
Canadian PAddler wrote:Still trying to get the plums together to make the sauce.
I don't know that it matters how your stance is when making the sauce.
You can use bananas but only if wearing pyjamas (sorry still slightly in kids tv mode form previous thread with the General)
I
Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 2:19 pm
by Fup Duck
Ooops, slip of a fat finger
I meant to say I have no experience with cinnamon on a duck although I did know a girl once who went by the name of Cinnamon and used a duck costume in her act; it was an exclusive club obviously.
Mustard and duck: why not!
Once after a race I captured a duck and took it back to my hotel, having stopped off on the way to pick up some fishing line, whitebait and mustard.
Back in the privacy of the room, using the fishing line, I tethered the whitebait to the blades of the ceiling fan and rigged a restricting harness to the duck. Using an old shower gel bottle filled with mustard and a drinking straw I fashioned a rudimentary drip and attached this to the duck using duck tape. Having positioned myself face down on the floor with the duck on my back I remotely operated the ceiling fan causing the duck to waddle round in circles after the whitebait; this combined with the drip of the mustard made the duck quite vigourous.
A cheap massage I can tell you! Who needs Deep Heat.
However, I had forgotten to place a do not disturb notice and the maid came in with some fresh towels....bit awkward but the towels came in handy for the excess mustard and duck waste.
No ducks were harmed in the making of this post. Not physically anyway
ps - when should one use duck tape over duct tape - is duct tape past tense?
Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 5:07 pm
by Canadian Paddler
Use duct tape in restricted headroom
Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 5:15 pm
by Canadian Paddler
It was a dark and stormy night and as the General trudged relentlessly through the rain and mud, little did he know that he was being watched by a horde of buck-toothed mammalian eyes. Ignoring the judges he wondered had he missed the start time for his C1 run? However the warmth permeating from the carry-out Duck and Plum sauce nestling under his left arm continued to distract him from any desire to commence race preparations.
A hundred yards away, as if as one, thirty one ducks raised their bills skyward and appeared to sniff through their duck nostrils (Do they have them?) simultaneously. It looked almost planned but surely that couldn't be. The General though didn't have time to dwell as sixty one eyes (as we all know Dwayne Duck lost an eye in the famous inaugaral Frog-Off of 2009 when he caught a exploding amphibian full in the face) turned to face him with the evil fowl stare that can only be associated with Anas platyrhynchos. A shiver of fear ran through him as he realised they had detected the scent of the duck beneath his arm, if only he had asked for a tad more cinnamon
it might have prevented detection.
He began to run...............................
Unfortunately the pantomime horse costume hindered his progress, and the empty legs of the back half flapped behind him in a way that seemed to annoy the hordes of Aythya, Aix, Anas, Bucephala, and Tadorna that waddled after him.
Strangely he was flying away from ducks that were chasing on foot.
The papier mache horses head was slipping over his eyes, the hooves were tripping him and he was trying to look behind him so he did not notice the Angel of the North until he ran into it and sat down with a thump, seeing stars.
(Well it is a Xmas story so we need angels and stars don't we)
Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 5:31 pm
by Fup Duck
What's happened to the General?